Been and gone
by Rosie eisoR
Summary: Strange how waking up one day can change your life forever. Strange, how you can find that you've been, and gone, already
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer; all belongs to Tamora Pierce. 

Alanna the Lioness, of Pirate's Swoop and Olau, jumped out of bed. She didn't look back, just raced out of the open door at an extraordinary pace for a woman of her age. It was a great year to be alive in Tortall, and today was no exception. The lady knight felt lighter than air as she passed nobles and servants on the way to Jon's study room. Puzzled, she slowed to a halt. No one had asked how she was, or if she would like any breakfast, as they usually did. Come to think of it, where was George? She reached Jon's door, when it opened. A servant, followed by a distraught Jon, walked straight past her without even noticing her. He didn't even hear when she called his name. Men, she thought, exasperated.

Alanna decided to follow her king, to see what had shocked him. Her violet eyes widened-he was heading for her room! Her first instinct was that something had happened to George. How hadn't she noticed? She picked her pace up, without seeming to go any faster. Finally, her room was reached. Walking through the door, she stifled a gasp. People, people with incense and prayer books, filled the room. Instantly she was reminded of the Sweating Sickness.

"Get out," she whispered. Raising her voice, she tried again. No reaction came. Tapping politely on the shoulder didn't work either. Walking between the gaps in the crowd, she saw people shiver as she passed. Familiar people surrounded the bed; she saw Daine crying into Numair's arms, Buri and Raoul holding hands and Myles hugging Eleni. Even closer, Thayet was cradling her youngest, while Roald and Kally pressed their lips so they wouldn't shed any tears. Jon stood next to his children, tears running down his tanned cheeks. Gary was comforting Cythera. Alanna's eyes fell on her own children, who were sobbing without a break.

"It's alright," she croaked. "Ma's here." They didn't seem to notice her. Suddenly, Thom looked up, straight at Alanna. His eyes didn't change, as they usually would to focus on a person. Involuntarily, Alanna shuddered. It was as if she wasn't there. The final person she laid eyes on was...George? He was crying, and holding the limp hand of a red-headed figure.


	2. Chapter 2

Alanna's emotions were in a whirl of confusion. Dead? No, the very thought was... impossible. No, it couldn't be. 

But it was, and somehow even the headstrong lady accepted it. So why was she here? Surely she should be in the Realms of the Dead. She looked around the room. She hadn't realised how much people had come to rely on her. Protection, love, an idol, a friend...

Biting her lip, she remembered that she hadn't been much of a friend to Jon. He needed Wyldon on his side, and she'd have fought for Tortall no matter what. Why couldn't she see that? She knew the answer. Because it hadn't been what she had wanted.

Suddenly, Jon turned away from the bed. She wanted to comfort him, to hold him till all the hurt vanished, but knew it was impossible. For all he was only a few feet from her, the greatest barrier in any realm lay between them. Death.

"I love you, Jon," she whispered.

Her once alive and sparkling purple eyes fell onto George as she turned away from the King. He was hugging the children, comforting them and drying their tears. She smiled, though sadly. That was the George she knew. Caring about others before himself.

She was thinking of George, and all the memories they'd shared together, when Jon attracted her attention. He had turned to Thayet. Watching the two embrace, Alanna wanted to cry.Why had she let him go? When did the anger come between them, and why did he still feel the pain of rejection? She was furious now, with no idea why. You never forgave me! She tugged a hand through her hair – or, at least, she thought she did. He didn't need to forgive her. They hadn't been right for each other.

Jon let go of Thayet, and his gaze turned to where Alanna was standing. Almost mechanically, he stood. "I forgive you," he whispered. "And I love you."


End file.
